he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
