You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
