official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
