as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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