Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
