: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
