i don't like sucking hair
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
