We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
