Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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