Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
