We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
