Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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