I'm so fucking centered right now
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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