I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
