Fuck appropriateness.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
