susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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