Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
