I'm eating all of the evidence.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
