i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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