how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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