Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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