just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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