K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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