We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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