you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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