How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
