I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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