the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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