I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
