dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
