its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
