I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
