but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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