Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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