Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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