your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
