he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
