I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
