so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
