I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
