in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
