Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
