how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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