O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
