i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
