I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
