My nipple is on Facebook.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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