I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
third nipple confirmed
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
