Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
