At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
