So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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