ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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