No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
